This post is about my personal experiences
5 min read
When you don’t know what’s coming next, how do you feel? Do you fear uncertainty? Are you filled with anxiety? Or do you have tougher skin than I do and wait whatever it is out?
Lately, I have been feeling anxious about where things are going for me. What's humorous is that I wrote a post recently about what exciting experiences awaits me in 2019, “It’s Not Too Late to Plan”. With that being said, being anxious isn’t always a negative.
When I start having these fuzzy feeling inside, I take a moment to check in with myself. What I figured out is I’m stressing the uncertainty of school, finances, and relationships. You probably read that and thought, “ join the club !” or “who isn't ?”
One thing, that I’m really happy about is that I stuck with reading books more often. Right now, Im into Seth Godin “Tribes”. Something that stuck out to me was “The Peter Principle”. The Google definition is “the principle that members of a hierarchy are promoted until they reach the level at which they are no longer competent.” Basically, sometimes we strive high for things that we can see, but what about the stuff that is unseen/uncertain our determination starts to diminish. We become self conscience, I become self conscience.
I’m majoring in marketing at VCU in Richmond, pretty involved on campus. I have friends, lol. What could possibly be wrong? I live off campus, it’s difficult for me to get back into the groove of school. This is a mindset problem. I caught it early this semester, though you know that feeling at the end of the semester and you’re wishing you’d wish you decided to study earlier. Yeah, thats me almost every semester. Since, “I caught it earlier”, I’ve been staying on campus longer then going straight home. The uncertainty of my actual knowledge of the material is a big deal since, I’m investing a good amount of time, energy, and you know money!
Did I mention that I’m in school? Full-time too? Working and school, I have always done, but living on my own makes thing even more complicated. (Side-note) This isn’t me complaining, I am truly blessed to be where I am in life and have the things that I own. However, things get tight when your part-time is only offering you less than 10 hours a week. Oh yeah, did I mention I have a pup. This is Chip !
What keeps me going is the experiences/opportunities that my university allows me to have that prepares me for my future. A few things that I have evaluated is that, in the near future I will be getting a roommate and decreasing the use of my vehicle (gas isn’t cheap), meal prepping has saved me so much this semester!
You know that timeline that you have in your head, the one that says I’ll graduate this year, I’ll start my career here this date, and I’ll be married with x amount of kids by this year… Yeah that one, I have started dating again and it has been definitely an interesting but fun experience, so far. I am so grateful for the friends that I have made through college. They are truly my biggest support team. Everyone needs a friend that will allow them to feel their feelings, especially, after a break up. I’m have working on breaking out of my own fantasies of my future and focusing on my reality. Learning to live in the moment is important.
I found this video on Youtube about rejection, those three parts that I mentioned above School, Finances, and Relationships has given me the feeling of rejection. After writing all of this, I have realized what I’m feeling is fear. From “Tribes” by Seth Godin, he wrote “when you do a great job, you get promoted. And that process repeats itself until finally you end up in a job you can’t handle.”
“Every time I thought I was being rejected from something good, I was actually being re-directed to something better.”